寂寞

i think that right now that i may not be the only one who has the guilty pleasure of typing in "foundmylamington.blogspot.com" in the hope that someone has written something to satisfy a procrastinating nature/bored whim every once in a while. and mostly, THEY HAVEN'T. so i've proactively taken it upon myself to write something in this lonely and abandoned space, at the same time, wishing that it will someday be revived and that i might get my lit/writing thunder back like last year when other contributors wrote on this blog all da tymm.

hum hum hum what to write about? the omnipresent question.

at this monumentally important point in our year 12 lives, what are we all doing? studying? procrastinating? watching "community"? losing weight? (lel das me) some of us may be working to their carefully planned goals to become a doctor or a lawyer or an engineer or some other asian parent sanctioned profession and some of us may just know their calling in life. it never ceases to amaze me as to how wonderful people are and how bright everyone's future can be when endowed with an awesome mindset and dogged determination.

i thought i'd just share some of my ideas about my cloudy and vague future (probably as an alcoholic living in a cardboard box on the streets of northbridge)

- history degree: yer i know - "wot da shit are you going to do with a history degree? become a historian LoL?" there's just something so magical about history. by looking back on the gory events of the past and seeing how they correlate in the patterns of present there's just so many things to be learnt. whether it be examining the amorous escapades of cleopatra or recoiling from pictures of brezhnev's man boobs, there's something that can help us to learn who we are; how life works; how to ultimately become better people.

-medicine: seeing as my umat score sheet is pretty much a virtual certificate for being a dumbass, i've got a lot to work to do before sitting that gamsat. but i'll do it nonetheless.

- law perhaps: i'm not sure if i'm hotheaded enough though!

-also i applied for something special but i probably won't get in so i won't mention it.

***haven't told asian parents about any of this yet - alas***

okay. now that all that is in the open :)

graduation is coming up soon and leavers and all this amazing fantastic stuff but we always seem to be so steeped in drama no matter what. maybe it's inevitable and maybe it's not. i don't care. i just hope that everyone knows that happiness IS a choice in this pressure cooker environment boiling friends and intelligence alike.

and i know it's folly to expect that we'll ALL be friends in the future but i'll try my best. knowing my current record i know that i'll be the one wishing that we kept in touch while everyone has moved on and forgotten me when they're living their own glamorous lives~

accuse me of harping pretentious new age shit, but it comes from the bottom of my heart that i love love love everyone right now - no matter who they are or how they've been acting or how agro they've been - probably because i feel really hyper atm- but anyway, ultimately, everyone wants to be understood and loved and is trying the best to make their world the best it can be for themselves and other people - even if they make mistakes in that process.

kekeke this post has not made a lot of sense at all.

GOOD LUCK FOR EVERYTHING.

and big funbun sized amounts of love.

"you can never know if someone forgives you when you wrong them. therefore it is existentially important to you. it is a question that you are intensely concerned with. neither can you know when a person loves you. it's something you have to believe or hope. but these things are more important to you than the fact that the sum of the angles in a triangle is one hundred and eighty degrees. you don't think about the law of cause or effect or about modes of perception when you are in the middle of your first kiss."