i'll be back

just finished my harrowing set of orals asjdhgksdjghskdghslkdg so hazukashii.

"do you want to get married?"

"i don't know"

"do you want to continue japanese?"

"i don't know'

"uhm.. today i'm going to talk about how i'm going to turn into an independent adult.." ffffffffffuk

FMLLLLLLLLLLLL AIYAHHHHHHHHHHH no amount of words can express my regret and sadness.

it hasn't hit me that i'm leaving high school. the last day was too hot and i felt too sick to have the full truth bang it over my head that i'm going to have to say goodbye to so many fantastic people. but i'm chill - the people i'm meant to be with will be with me ~ good consolation yoO0o0

exam stress is making me super depressed and i just feel like typing in a weird retarded way. back to 9 hour study regime tomorrow~ gotta study hard y0 niggazzzzzzz.

ironic how the elaborate successful futures i fabricate in oral exams will never come alive.

gerascophobia.

"We all take different paths in life, but no matter where we go, 
we take a little of each other everywhere."

i've been looking through old things recently (more procrasticleaning).

old cards, old letters, old photos, old blog posts, old chat logs, old text messages, old songs, old memories, old promises, old feelings. probably because friday was the last day of high school and the feeling of holy-shit-it's-over has completely washed over me. it felt extremely final, saying farewell to five incredible years and so many amazing people.

i already miss my disgusting locker and the lunch spot on the oval and playing bubble trouble during photography and $1 hash browns and cruiser pies and my hilaro teachers and intense debates in politics & law and playing big two during maths and watching cold war videos and drinking milo during lit and class in jokes and playing bench ball and going bowling as 'recreation' and using the privilege pass and thinking of excuses and sleeping on the refectory couches and the speed of the library printer and rare lunch time picnics and assemblies in the auditorium and walking past the embarrassing centenary photograph and not studying during study periods. i miss all of this and more.

i'm only realising now that i'm not ready to say goodbye.

Didaskaleinophobia.

Didaskaleinophobia - the fear of going to school

thought I'd write a somewhat more lighthearted post, considering how people are wanting to break down, crawl into a corner and imagine storm clouds hanging above them (or maybe that's just me)


anyways, here are some subject pick up lines I thought were good, and found whilst procrastinating
(disclaimer: I will not be held responsible for any injuries or deaths occurring from the recitation of these jokes in public, or private for that matter.)


Chemistry
"You are so attractive, I cannot help but form hydrogen bonds with you"
"Will a little more alcohol catalyze this reaction?"
"I'm more attracted to you than F is to an electron"
"Me and you would undergo a more energetic reaction than potassium and water"
"If only you and I could form a redox cell, the potential between us would be mighty high"
"If I could form any compound, I would make uranium iodide, so I could put U and I together"
"I'm a conjugate acid, you are a conjugate base. Let's hook up and create conjugate pairs"
"Do you wanna join functional groups with me, and let me release a water molecule?"
"What does it take to get over your activation barrier?"
"My favourite attractive forces is van de Waals forces. Can you feel it? I will sit closer if you can't"
"I'm a chemistry student, I do it on the table periodically"
"If you let me work hard enough, I can give you a dipole moment"
"Maybe later we can go over to my place and titrate until you reach your end point"




Physics
"What do you say we use my lever to shift your center of mass?"
"I might be a physics major, but I'm no Bohr in bed"
"Your eyes have a perfect wavelength of 563.4 nm"
"What's your resonant frequency?"
"Top quark or bottom quark?"
"You're more special than relativity"
"Like the ideal vacuum, you're the only thing in my universe"
"Let's exchange fermions!" (..shouldnt it be gluons..?)
"You and Me = Grand Unification"
"In my bed, it's perpetual motion all night long" (reminds me of the Big Bang Theory Episode)
"The input voltage of my amplifier will take your frequency to new heights"
"I know all about superpositioning"
"How about if I lepton you later?"
"The direction fields of my heart all point to you"
"Your hotness is the only reason we can't reach absolute zero"
"You're a moving electric charge, and I'm a moving magnetic charge...Wanna flux?"
"It's not the length of the vector that counts, it's how you apply it"
"You're an electromagnetic wave, and I'm an electron. Together, you excite me to another level" [Aaron]


Maths
"I wish I was your derivative, so I could lie tangent to your curves"
"I wish I was your integral, so I could be the area under your curves"
"Hey, what's your sine?"
"Hey , baby want to squeeze my theorem while I poly your nomial?"
"...nice asymptote"
"I don't know if you're in my range, but I'd sure like to take you back to my domain"
"You are the solution to my system of linear equations"
"I'll take you to the limit as x approaches infinity"
"If I were a function, you would be my asymptote - I always tend towards you"
"Honey, you're sweeter than pi"
"My love for you is like an asymptotic function, it has no limit"
"When I try to calculate my love for you, the calculator reads 'Error - Unreal number'"
"In Euclidean geometry, two parallel lines never touch... let's go back to my place and study some non-Euclidean geometry"
"Let's make love like pi; irrational and never ending"
"We've been differentiating for too long, lets sum it up and integrate"
"You must be absolute, because every time you're around me, I feel positive"
"I'll be the naked singularity. You be the black hole"



Economics
"Why don't you remove those barriers to imports? It will ease my inflation and the benefits will trickle down"
"What do you say I eliminate some dead weight loss and add to your consumer surplus?"
"You won't find any elasticity with my demand, cause there are no substitutes"
"It's ok... I'm a price taker"
"I'm a pure public good, you can free-ride on me any time you want"
"We're like monopolistic competition... all we care about is the short run"
"Our society is underproducing... but I'm sure if we hooked up we'd achieve an efficient allocation of resources"
"My fiscal policy is all about contributing to your private sector"
"Your industry shows promise... time for my  firm to break the barrier of entry"
"Did you know, my private sector is now open for business"
"If you wanna stop the downturn, stimulate my package for growth, and then invest in my private sector"
"Because you are such a positive externality, we may need to implement immediate stimulus measures"
"Every time I see you, you remind me of high inflationary pressures... my interest rates keep increasing at every meeting"
"I can tell you're in a boom, my interest rates keep on rising"
"When it comes to you, my demand curve slopes upwards"
"Do you have a job? Because I thought we could enjoy some frictional unemployment together"
"Are you a Keynesian? Cause you sure make my monetary policy inflate"
"You've got the loveliest supply curves I've ever seen"
"If you want to invite your friend, perhaps we could explore multilateralism"
"Just to let you know, I'm about to nationalize you, so your assets won't be private for much longer"
"You must be operating at full allocative efficiency, because you know just where to put your goods and services"
"There are no diminishing returns with you"
"I love you, ceteris paribus"
"Don't worry baby, I'm implementing entry barriers to prevent infant industries entering the market"


Religion
"Now I know why Soloman had 700 wives, because he never met you"
"You float my ark"
"My spiritual gift is my good looks... it lifts peoples spirits"
"I used to believe in natural theology, but since I met you, I've converted to divine revelation"
"How many times do I have to walk around you to make you fall for me?"
"Unfortunately, I cant perform miracles and I've only got enough bread and fish for two people"
"I'm a Proverbs 32 kind of guy, and you're a Proverbs 31 kind of woman..."
"I would leave 99 sheep to come and find you... and then I would carry you home joyfully on my shoulder"
"You make the Queen of Sheba look like a hobo"
"Do you need prayer? Cause I'm certainly willing to lay my hands on you"
"Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?"
"Is it a sin that you stole my heart?"
"Do you think 'ask, and it shall be given to you' is to be taken literally?"
"I practice the mission of "love one another" to the fullest extent"
"How do feel about the passage that says, 'it is more blessed to give than to receive'?"
"I didn't know angels flew this low"
"If Eve was tempted by an apple, then you must be my fruit"
"The Word says 'Give drink to those who are thirsty, and feed the hungry'... how about dinner tonight?"




so manyyy. but they were worth the time finding ahaha.

Imagine this!

Ready for your exams?

WACE exams are a competition.You can't just be the blooming flower, you have to be the weed killer that kills all of the flowers and takes a prime position in the shed.

WACE is about intimidation. The only way you can put yourself at an advantage is to disadvantage others. 

Preparation
First, all WACE veterans (including the State Constitutional Handbook of the Curriculum Council of Western Australia Act 2011) like to encourage people to be prepared stationery-wise, so that you can win in style. Most amateurs like to bring standardized Kilometricos, correction tapes, erasers and rulers with kangaroos on them.


What are you, 5 YEARS OLD?

That ain't preparation! That ain't intimidation! That shit is wack!

The only reason people bring stationery into an exam room is to distract others. The only person you'll distract is yourself, as you blame yourself for your stupidity in bringing generic equipment that NOBODY LIKES.

Get rid of that home brand blue pen. Get yourself a real man's pen, a QUILL. Your pen is proportional to your "size". You can't pick up the female supervisors (or male if you swing that way) with a tiny biro. Also don't forget to bring as many glow pens as you can. Lights can cause haptic seizures as well as disorientation to minors. And disorientation is just what you need.

 
Rulers? Nobody ever said there was a length regulation. I tend to use a 1 metre ruler as that is also "proportional". Now you can walk into that exam room feeling less like Peter Parker and more like SPIDERMAN.

Sexy.

Most people also know that you can bring up to 3 calculators into Mathematics exams. What they don't realize is that there is no rule stating the size of your calculator. That's just another chance to intimidate the opposition. Go to Crazy Clark's, pick up some Giant Calculators for $4.95 a piece. Even though you aren't actually using those massive rectangles of plastic, people will be quaking in their school shoes as you delicately unveil your secret weapons.

Finally, plastic sheets show that you are in the bottom rungs of society and this will most likely make you laughed at.  You need some real plastic casing? Nothing says "examination warlord", or "elitist member of society", like a PLASTIC CRATE ON WHEELS with stationery that glows and a metre ruler enclosed in it. Don't you just feel like Tony Abbott, scrutinizing everyone elses stationery.

Don't forget to bring your 1.5 litres of water too! You ain't a student, you're a CAMEL.

Your package is complete. Now you're in the exam room, you have to use your equipment and your skills to the greatest knowledge.


In the room

Tissues are a grey area of exams. Nobody says anything concerning the amount you can have, or whether you're allowed to bring them in. To save the trouble, the CC puts tissueboxes at the front of the room.

Here's your chance.

Once you've set down your various tools, head to the front and pull out every single tissue in the box. It may take a while but the awkwardness of the situation means that the supervisors won't stop you. They'll just think you're crazy. Which is good.


Now NO ONE CAN USE TISSUES. Congratulations, you have significantly weakened anyone in the room with a cold.

The silence of examination rooms is usually unbearable. Silence means people are getting work done! RID THE SILENCE. Defy the laws of the Curriculum Council constitution! One of the rules in the handbook states that "alarms on watches must be switched off".


They can't FORCE you. This is a free society!


Walk into the examination with SIX WATCHES, three in each arm. Set each alarm to ring at half-hour marks in the 3-hour period. Make sure you wear long sleeves so that people can't see where the noise is coming from. Now everyone is going to be interrupted every half hour, which effectively shortens their examination working time by FIFTEEN MINUTES.


Perfect for you!

That 1.5L vessel of liquid sitting next to you can be put to great use, but only if you have a strong bladder. Drink every 10 minutes and finish with an "aaaaah" louder than a Solo commercial. Spit discreetly in the face of the individuals to your flanks, so that they turn around and mouth "f____ off", wasting their valuable examination time.

ALWAYS leave early. That way you can look at everyone's progress and, with your back turned to supervisors, laugh in their faces and "accidentally" knock over people's desks. Thinking about the rate of change on a cylinder?

NOT ANYMORE.

So now you've left the examination room, you are free to terrorize them from the outside.

Out of the room
The supervisors always tell you not to stand near the examination room when you finish. But what if you happen to own a noise making contraption that can echo its sound across the whole of the examination area?


BLOW THAT NOISE MAKING CONTRAPTION THAT CAN ECHO ITS SOUND ACROSS THE WHOLE OF THE EXAMINATION LIKE YOU'VE NEVER BLOWN BEFORE. Chances are, you won't need to be in the exam room radius to be able to transmit that sound forward. You will bask in your light of victory as those struggling students in the examination room hear a noise that resembles an elephant on a motorcycle. 


And that's enough to make ANYONE crack.


So now that you've earned yourself the title of "Biggest Faggot Ever", congratulate yourself, and watch as your Australian Tertiary Admission Rank gets scaled up higher than your ego.

**

infinite thanks to jamie for finding the sexy layout :3

Mise-en-scène

Mise-en-scène (French pronunciation: [mizɑ̃sɛn] "placing on stage") is an expression used to describe the design aspects of a theatre or film production, which essentially means "visual theme" or "telling a story"—both in visually artful waysthrough storyboarding, cinematography and stage design, and in poetically artful ways through direction.

 Wikipedia

Ever stumble across something, a site, a message, a book, that's made you completely reconsider your view of something? (hell, this is beginning to sound like a self-depreciating post, but oh well)

Two things come to mind I guess-

nah, screw this.

I'll save it for another time.

everybody should watch this