the flavour of life

後一方がふ乱せないでせいで

じれってたいのなのってbaby

ありがとうときみに言われると。。。

AAAAARGH LIT.

procrastinating in hopes that I will somehow get my lit mojo back and not fail this dumb assessment which I am currently fml-ing big time about.

these few days have been pretty taxing, so I'd just like to make some anonymous shout outs, like my fellow bloggers have:

- why do you feel the need to do this? i'm not trying to usurp your dominance. i never could... don't understand why you want to exclude me from things. i'm just hoping you'll tell me in the next few days or so.

- feel so distanced from you. what happened?

- i love you!

- i think i'm learning to accept you again.

- chilLaX bRo

that's it

ja mata

jacket.

So maybe it's true

That I can't live without you

And maybe two is better than one...

Boys Like Girls - Two Is Better Than One

In an effort to keep this blog alive, im compsoing composing a post when i probably should be either:

a) be doing homework

b) reading The Shark Net (send me any links on notes if you find any kthx)

c) sleeping

d) playing piano at an ungodly hour packing my stuff for tomorrowww

badminton on fridayyyyy, good fun.

kinda disappointed we didnt make it to finals and win, but oh well.

there's always next time (hopefully)

makes you realize how important teamwork is haha, and how a breakdown of communication causes hell

(sorry Dom.)

the leavers jacketss -grin-

all the hard work paid off, and they really were worth it.

"seany ^^y!" doesnt seem like anything at first glance, but meh.

it's goodddd.

really need to find some way to thank Josh aha, for all the hard work he put in (thanks once again mate)

and yeah, not sure what i was thinking, wearing it in 37 degree heat today, along with jeans

-shrug-

so worth it.

so, i thought i'd just ramble on a bit about what's going through my head:

-cricket chirps-

..yeahhh, maybe not so.

-thinks hard-

actually, there's not much i want to say really hahaha.

well, just to continue the tradition, a few shout outs:

- god, i feel so useless... isn't there anything i can do?

- we may not necessarily be close, but i hope you know i always have your back, and come rushing if needed.

- i miss our random conversations that could go for hours and hours long, and i think you should've kept your blog runningg.

- ..i don't want to see you hurt again, even though i can't picture it.

- don't know what i'd do without you hahaha, you mean this much -stretches arms- to me.

- no matter how much i may tease/annoy you, you too mean lots to me, and i hope we'll keep in touch till the end -smiles-

- do you consider it amusing, being in the one place i love?

- -shakes head- place nicely kids.

- i still can't. and i have no idea how long it will take.

thoughts: april 17thh.

-10 < 0 < 10

0/100

you won't feel a thing.

decided to write a post to keep on successfully avoiding the depressing homework pile that's just sitting on the corner of my desk. a lot of things are coming up like the due date for my literature essay (..) and mock trials against flipping st. mary's and seeing the script live on saturday (!!) and watching the play of Frankenstein at Luna Palace with whaleface and mufti day and a pizza movie night for modern history and finally the term one holidaays. this 12 week term = too slow. this weekend = too fast.

i was planning to write another warm and fuzzy post but i'm too lazy and don't want to write a shitty one for the person i have in mind. so i guess i'll write y'all some anonymous shout outs :3

- stop trying to make fetch work, it's not going to happen! lav you (au)

- you surprisingly bring back all the good feelings that i've missed

- trust me and my judgement on this one, though i know you're only trying to look out for me

- sorry i've 'given' you emotions i didn't mean to <333333 i love it when you rage ;3

- i've been treating you in a civilised manner recently because i feel bad when i see you looking lost and lonely all the time. but it doesn't mean that i've forgotten (i probably never will) and it doesn't mean that i've completely forgiven you, but i guess i'm trying. i feel like i don't have a right to be angry anymore.

okay that's it for noww. adios amigos. ❤

!

how to stop being so boring?









<3 get better japan

~ warm fuzzy challenge continued

"so freak out if you want to, and i'll still be here

don't call me for years and when you do;

yeah i'll still be here~

and i'm not saying the effort is a waste of time

but i just love you for the things you couldn't change but you've tried"

- learn to live with what you are (ben folds)

hey y'all, it's big ol' obnoxious me again! this time with another part of the warm fuzzy challenge :3

i'm sitting here next to my maths book wanting to go to sleep but thinking of you and the "date" we had today. (i know you're probably never going to read this and this will probably be misconstrued but heck, this is what the warm fuzzy challenge is for) it was fun and the icey ice was good and i liked our d&m (first proper one i've had in ages!)

i'm glad you've come clean with the things you've been going through and don't feel so much of the pain anymore. it seems that from hereon everything will be better for you and your gap year sounds really amazing so hopefully things will just get better and better because that's what you deserve, gurrrrl.

when i heard those things it was hard to judge you, because you really are such a beautiful, amazing person and it was way difficult to cage you in society's standards and look down on you that way. i guess i hope you know that everyone else probably finds it hard to judge you too.

everyone loves you! who could not love dat smyle and dose lusciouz legsz.

you're the most independent person i know and i could really learn a thing or two from you.

you've overcome so much and .. although it's probably not my place to say anything, i'm proud of you.

i'm disappointed at stevie j for not putting us in any classes together because i could have done with a lil' more sunshine, good advice and balance in my life.

but in sum,

you're so wonderful. i'll always be here for you - you don't have to tell me anything because that doesn'tt matter. i don't think i've ever had the urge to judge you so i want you to know that i probably never will unless you do something ridiculous like push me onto a highway or kill my cat or something (which you won't). you have an incredibly rounded world view that i admire so much. there's hope for the future and some of it lies in you fo' sho'.

you're beautiful <3

(1)

dear anonymous, (it won't be very anonymous/subtle especially since i've already told you i wanted to write about you but meh)

i'm not going to reminisce our g timez because they are mostly filled with you making lame 'it's funny because you're short' jokes or me attempting to physically hurt you but failing. so instead, i'll try my best to convey the extent of how much you mean to me - though you push away my affection and cringe when i scream 'BEST FRIENDS FOREVAAAAAAAA' and run to attack you with a hug from the other side of the hallway.

i've known you for a decade now, and my friendship towards you has evolved (lolpokemon) into crazy unconditional love. you're my best friend and one of the few people on this entire planet that i entrust with everything. even though lately due to your english creative writing story, i feel guilty for talking to you. we've had countless of fights (mainly me raging at you for stupid reasons) where i've sworn never to talk to you again, but of course after 10 or so minutes, i go back to saying 'i love you omgggggg let's never fight again'. i know i need you so much more than you 'need' me and strangely, i've become okay with that. 


people joke around and tell you to stop being such an azn father towards me sometimes but at the end of the day, i'm grateful for your lectures and your honesty whenever you're disappointed in me. you make sure i don't do overly stupid things and you make me a better person. i know i can be creepily protective but srsly, she doesn't know how lucky she is. but i'll try my best to stop death glaring at her every time she walks by me .____.


thank you for always knowing what to say and never leaving me alone and noticing the little things and being my constant. i'm never ever going to forget how much you mean to me. i love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! etc

warm fuzzy challenge

Ni hao guys!

I'm proud to announce the blog's inaugural warm fuzzy challenge!~~

Each day each of us will (try to - maybe not every day but this will happen for a while) post an anonymous warm fuzzy to someone close to us.

Inaugural warm fuzzy:

Dear x,

Thank you for all the g-times we've had together. Even though you may not talk much to me and just give me "what the farmer are you doing, biatch" looks all the time I think we still have a good loving relationship going on underneath.

I like how you're always looking out for people, never violating the bro-code and letting me pinch your cheeks.

You're really intelligent and sometimes I don't understand why you want to be even more intelligent. I mean being number one is great but you're already number one to so many people. You don't need to prove yourself. 100% doesn't mean 100% good or 100% happy.

I respect so much about you - the fact that you mostly live your life for others is just an amazing trait of yours. You would be destined for buddhahood if you didn't focus so much on your studies.

Although the pressure on you is a large weight, I hope you know that there are so many people eager to share the load and if you didn't keep it in I think you'd find so many people willing to surround you with loving kindness.

I still feel bad about the chemistry incident earlier in the year. You can sit next to her if you like. In retrospect trying to make you sit next to me was wrong and you should be able to sit next to her if you want to. You're one of my best friends and that means I should accept you regardless of your choice of seating.

I like it when you smile. It suits you. So keep doing it yeah?

You're an amazing amazing person who I won't forget.

Love always,

Lillian

tuna pasta bake.

I think I’ll go crazy,
I think maybe I’m exhausted (why?)
No, I think I’m fed up
It’s dull already, tedious...

Tonight - Big Bang (still think Haru Haru > Tonight)

After a considerable productivity-questionable day (whoah, big words). i'm finally settling down to continue working on physics and maths.

Sandra and i got quite a bit of work done...till Josh came (he took up the entire table...with his books), we still did work, but hey, we realized we work much better at the library.

lunch was good, home made tuna pasta bake, which was pretty impressive, considering how we were planning on just eating instant noodles.

for those who havent noticed, there've been um, a few changes to the blog, most namely the layout, which i changed...2 nights ago? since i was pretty very bored.

secondly, the quote at the top is no longer a madman one, rather one of pride.

hey, just felt like a bit of change.

not much else to say, just procrastinating before i get stuck into start physics.

hands up if you think you're screwed for the circular motion component of the test.

-waves hand frantically-

yeah, i'm a real optimist.

thoughts: haha.

-10 < 0 < 10

80/20

paper aeroplane.

since it's the long weekend, i feel like i ought to finally contribute to the blog once again. i woke up like an hour ago even though i set my alarm for 8 to do so some hardcore study but i guess that won't be happening for the rest of the day.. right now i'm eating mi goreng and waiting for gossip girl to load and checking my phone balance and since i'm running out of interesting deetz of my life, i'll follow sean and lilly's lead and send some ambiguous shout outs.

- even though we're only starting to get to know each other properly, you are so fun to talk to and laugh and share music with :3 i think you could be a really close friend and a person i'll depend on more. (toobad4u)

- sometimes your 'friendliness' and 'sweetness' makes me extremely uncomfortable.
 
- high school musical lol what a loser

- i feel like i'm a burden every time i talk to you

-  even though we were thrown to opposing 'sides', it didn't change us at all. luv ya bitch

i'm going to go watch gossip girl now and be really unproductive!
farewell :3

mmm.

Just paint the picture of a perfect place
They got it better than what anyone's told you
They'll be the King of Hearts, and you're the Queen of Spades
Then we'll fight for you like we were your soldiers

All The Right Moves - One Republic

Damn gundam video isnt loading properly..

well, hello there.

to be honest, i'm not too sure about what i want to can post, so maybe i'll just stick with something diplomatic.

woke up at 10, one of the best things i've done in a while a long time. showered, changed and took the bus to the station.

and this is when you realize how cr*p transperth is -sigh-

rippa subs > real bacon burger, sorry justin.

study was so-so, got enough a reasonable amount of stuff done. i think.

-3 hours later-

just finished Gundam 00, good movie.

well, that summarizes up my post. an interesting one at that.

(sarcasm)

thoughts: -keeps to self-

-10 < -9 < 10

80/20

it goes on and on and on.

Do you ever feel, feel so paper thin
Like a house of cards
One blow from caving in

Well, hello there.
it's been a while since i've done a post. (more than "a while" i guess...)
and i guess it's time, ahaha (usually only do posts when something's wrong)
heaps has been on my mind recently, and i just i need to let off a bit of steam (ok, maybe more than a bit)
really should invest in a punching bag yeah? (know where i can get one cheap?)

school. is. hell. at one point in time, i enjoyed what school would be like, but then this year, you realise you have almost a meeting each recess and lunch, and you realise that you miss seeing friends (sorry mashima). you begin to question yourself, "why do you do so much shit?" and yeah, i guess that's when you remember the only reason you bog yourself down with work is so you dont think about other stuff.

living off 5 hours or less of sleep a day isnt pretty. i'll say that. makes it even worse, when you're recovering from a cold, and you know rest is the best thing possible. -sigh- oh how much i value sleep. long weekend coming up, and i dunno, if i can keep my mind blank for long enough, hopefully i'll catch up on 2 weeks sleep.

note(s) to self: vinnies, get more cordial, prepare a poster for sale of water/cordial
public speaking, finish off that speech on something you're passionate about, look at lesson plan for next time, revise over previous competition speech to show.
mock trials, soak in the glorious victory...for now. begin reading new case materials, and look over team selection.
prefect, remember to check about various proposals scattered around the place, and begin finishing up on mints and baking day proposal


schoolwork:
religion, finish off essay in class
maths, study shitloads for upcoming test on differentiation and applic.
english, read novel, begin taking notes on documentary, keep journal up to date with responses
economics, continue reading notes over AE and stuff, 67% isnt good enough (no im not crashing, for those who are wondering)
physics, highlight and annotate projectile motion and circular motion book, make sure to finish dot point, heineman and stawa exercises, read ahead for gravity and satellites
chemistry, chapter summaries for equilibrium and rates of reaction, practice questions, and make sure pract book is up to date (step 1, find pract book)


-headdesk- i wish i was dumb.
all of this crap, just to take my mind off things. but hey, what happens when all of this piles up? and things only become worse? is it the equivalent of a mental/emotional wage price spiral?
-shakes head- i probably just need sleep.

the blog still lives, lilly. it'll be used quite a bit from now on i guess haha.
but hey, im still alive (barely), and im sure so are the other contributors.

and just a few ambiguous things i want to say:

• you're dead to me, really you are, and i see no point in ever talking to you ever again.
•  
• it isnt easy to forget what you did, it's even harder to forgive you -shrug- it only took a bit for you to destroy those years of trust. 
•  
• you'll live, if not there'll be the rest of us to make sure you do, even if it takes a long time.
• 
  
• i'm sorry, my parents were pissed that day
• 
  
• i dont mean to take it out on you, it's just that im not sure if i can trust you.
• 
  
• behind all those smiles, i know you're enjoying it, and rubbing it in. so gtfo of my life. go enjoy it with the other one if you really want to. so yeah, just gtfo.
• 
  
• i dont know what i'd do without you. even though i've only known you for a bit, you really are an amazing friend, someone i can always rely on.
•  
• you too, you're an amazing friend, someone i know who gives valid opinions, and someone i know i can trust my life with.

long weekend coming up soon, a nice break from everything i guess. man. i really want to sleep now, but my religion essay's being a b*tch and not letting me wrap up how consecrated religious search for meaning in life.

ladies and gentlemen, that's me for now.
i'll update if i feel i need to.

thoughts: i wont forget.
-10 < -7 < 10
60/40, 30/70
i dont ever want it to reach 51/49.