Didaskaleinophobia - the fear of going to school
thought I'd write a somewhat more lighthearted post, considering how people are wanting to break down, crawl into a corner and imagine storm clouds hanging above them (or maybe that's just me)
anyways, here are some subject pick up lines I thought were good, and found whilst procrastinating
(disclaimer: I will not be held responsible for any injuries or deaths occurring from the recitation of these jokes in public, or private for that matter.)
Chemistry
"You are so attractive, I cannot help but form hydrogen bonds with you"
"Will a little more alcohol catalyze this reaction?"
"I'm more attracted to you than F is to an electron"
"Me and you would undergo a more energetic reaction than potassium and water"
"If only you and I could form a redox cell, the potential between us would be mighty high"
"If I could form any compound, I would make uranium iodide, so I could put U and I together"
"I'm a conjugate acid, you are a conjugate base. Let's hook up and create conjugate pairs"
"Do you wanna join functional groups with me, and let me release a water molecule?"
"What does it take to get over your activation barrier?"
"My favourite attractive forces is van de Waals forces. Can you feel it? I will sit closer if you can't"
"I'm a chemistry student, I do it on the table periodically"
"If you let me work hard enough, I can give you a dipole moment"
"Maybe later we can go over to my place and titrate until you reach your end point"
Physics
"What do you say we use my lever to shift your center of mass?"
"I might be a physics major, but I'm no Bohr in bed"
"Your eyes have a perfect wavelength of 563.4 nm"
"What's your resonant frequency?"
"Top quark or bottom quark?"
"You're more special than relativity"
"Like the ideal vacuum, you're the only thing in my universe"
"Let's exchange fermions!" (..shouldnt it be gluons..?)
"You and Me = Grand Unification"
"In my bed, it's perpetual motion all night long" (reminds me of the Big Bang Theory Episode)
"The input voltage of my amplifier will take your frequency to new heights"
"I know all about superpositioning"
"How about if I lepton you later?"
"The direction fields of my heart all point to you"
"Your hotness is the only reason we can't reach absolute zero"
"You're a moving electric charge, and I'm a moving magnetic charge...Wanna flux?"
"It's not the length of the vector that counts, it's how you apply it"
"You're an electromagnetic wave, and I'm an electron. Together, you excite me to another level" [Aaron]
Maths
"I wish I was your derivative, so I could lie tangent to your curves"
"I wish I was your integral, so I could be the area under your curves"
"Hey, what's your sine?"
"Hey , baby want to squeeze my theorem while I poly your nomial?"
"...nice asymptote"
"I don't know if you're in my range, but I'd sure like to take you back to my domain"
"You are the solution to my system of linear equations"
"I'll take you to the limit as x approaches infinity"
"If I were a function, you would be my asymptote - I always tend towards you"
"Honey, you're sweeter than pi"
"My love for you is like an asymptotic function, it has no limit"
"When I try to calculate my love for you, the calculator reads 'Error - Unreal number'"
"In Euclidean geometry, two parallel lines never touch... let's go back to my place and study some non-Euclidean geometry"
"Let's make love like pi; irrational and never ending"
"We've been differentiating for too long, lets sum it up and integrate"
"You must be absolute, because every time you're around me, I feel positive"
"I'll be the naked singularity. You be the black hole"
Economics
"Why don't you remove those barriers to imports? It will ease my inflation and the benefits will trickle down"
"What do you say I eliminate some dead weight loss and add to your consumer surplus?"
"You won't find any elasticity with my demand, cause there are no substitutes"
"It's ok... I'm a price taker"
"I'm a pure public good, you can free-ride on me any time you want"
"We're like monopolistic competition... all we care about is the short run"
"Our society is underproducing... but I'm sure if we hooked up we'd achieve an efficient allocation of resources"
"My fiscal policy is all about contributing to your private sector"
"Your industry shows promise... time for my firm to break the barrier of entry"
"Did you know, my private sector is now open for business"
"If you wanna stop the downturn, stimulate my package for growth, and then invest in my private sector"
"Because you are such a positive externality, we may need to implement immediate stimulus measures"
"Every time I see you, you remind me of high inflationary pressures... my interest rates keep increasing at every meeting"
"I can tell you're in a boom, my interest rates keep on rising"
"When it comes to you, my demand curve slopes upwards"
"Do you have a job? Because I thought we could enjoy some frictional unemployment together"
"Are you a Keynesian? Cause you sure make my monetary policy inflate"
"You've got the loveliest supply curves I've ever seen"
"If you want to invite your friend, perhaps we could explore multilateralism"
"Just to let you know, I'm about to nationalize you, so your assets won't be private for much longer"
"You must be operating at full allocative efficiency, because you know just where to put your goods and services"
"There are no diminishing returns with you"
"I love you, ceteris paribus"
"Don't worry baby, I'm implementing entry barriers to prevent infant industries entering the market"
Religion
"Now I know why Soloman had 700 wives, because he never met you"
"You float my ark"
"My spiritual gift is my good looks... it lifts peoples spirits"
"I used to believe in natural theology, but since I met you, I've converted to divine revelation"
"How many times do I have to walk around you to make you fall for me?"
"Unfortunately, I cant perform miracles and I've only got enough bread and fish for two people"
"I'm a Proverbs 32 kind of guy, and you're a Proverbs 31 kind of woman..."
"I would leave 99 sheep to come and find you... and then I would carry you home joyfully on my shoulder"
"You make the Queen of Sheba look like a hobo"
"Do you need prayer? Cause I'm certainly willing to lay my hands on you"
"Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?"
"Is it a sin that you stole my heart?"
"Do you think 'ask, and it shall be given to you' is to be taken literally?"
"I practice the mission of "love one another" to the fullest extent"
"How do feel about the passage that says, 'it is more blessed to give than to receive'?"
"I didn't know angels flew this low"
"If Eve was tempted by an apple, then you must be my fruit"
"The Word says 'Give drink to those who are thirsty, and feed the hungry'... how about dinner tonight?"
so manyyy. but they were worth the time finding ahaha.
Didaskaleinophobia.
Didaskaleinophobia - the fear of going to school
thought I'd write a somewhat more lighthearted post, considering how people are wanting to break down, crawl into a corner and imagine storm clouds hanging above them (or maybe that's just me)
anyways, here are some subject pick up lines I thought were good, and found whilst procrastinating
(disclaimer: I will not be held responsible for any injuries or deaths occurring from the recitation of these jokes in public, or private for that matter.)
Chemistry
"You are so attractive, I cannot help but form hydrogen bonds with you"
"Will a little more alcohol catalyze this reaction?"
"I'm more attracted to you than F is to an electron"
"Me and you would undergo a more energetic reaction than potassium and water"
"If only you and I could form a redox cell, the potential between us would be mighty high"
"If I could form any compound, I would make uranium iodide, so I could put U and I together"
"I'm a conjugate acid, you are a conjugate base. Let's hook up and create conjugate pairs"
"Do you wanna join functional groups with me, and let me release a water molecule?"
"What does it take to get over your activation barrier?"
"My favourite attractive forces is van de Waals forces. Can you feel it? I will sit closer if you can't"
"I'm a chemistry student, I do it on the table periodically"
"If you let me work hard enough, I can give you a dipole moment"
"Maybe later we can go over to my place and titrate until you reach your end point"
Physics
"What do you say we use my lever to shift your center of mass?"
"I might be a physics major, but I'm no Bohr in bed"
"Your eyes have a perfect wavelength of 563.4 nm"
"What's your resonant frequency?"
"Top quark or bottom quark?"
"You're more special than relativity"
"Like the ideal vacuum, you're the only thing in my universe"
"Let's exchange fermions!" (..shouldnt it be gluons..?)
"You and Me = Grand Unification"
"In my bed, it's perpetual motion all night long" (reminds me of the Big Bang Theory Episode)
"The input voltage of my amplifier will take your frequency to new heights"
"I know all about superpositioning"
"How about if I lepton you later?"
"The direction fields of my heart all point to you"
"Your hotness is the only reason we can't reach absolute zero"
"You're a moving electric charge, and I'm a moving magnetic charge...Wanna flux?"
"It's not the length of the vector that counts, it's how you apply it"
"You're an electromagnetic wave, and I'm an electron. Together, you excite me to another level" [Aaron]
Maths
"I wish I was your derivative, so I could lie tangent to your curves"
"I wish I was your integral, so I could be the area under your curves"
"Hey, what's your sine?"
"Hey , baby want to squeeze my theorem while I poly your nomial?"
"...nice asymptote"
"I don't know if you're in my range, but I'd sure like to take you back to my domain"
"You are the solution to my system of linear equations"
"I'll take you to the limit as x approaches infinity"
"If I were a function, you would be my asymptote - I always tend towards you"
"Honey, you're sweeter than pi"
"My love for you is like an asymptotic function, it has no limit"
"When I try to calculate my love for you, the calculator reads 'Error - Unreal number'"
"In Euclidean geometry, two parallel lines never touch... let's go back to my place and study some non-Euclidean geometry"
"Let's make love like pi; irrational and never ending"
"We've been differentiating for too long, lets sum it up and integrate"
"You must be absolute, because every time you're around me, I feel positive"
"I'll be the naked singularity. You be the black hole"
Economics
"Why don't you remove those barriers to imports? It will ease my inflation and the benefits will trickle down"
"What do you say I eliminate some dead weight loss and add to your consumer surplus?"
"You won't find any elasticity with my demand, cause there are no substitutes"
"It's ok... I'm a price taker"
"I'm a pure public good, you can free-ride on me any time you want"
"We're like monopolistic competition... all we care about is the short run"
"Our society is underproducing... but I'm sure if we hooked up we'd achieve an efficient allocation of resources"
"My fiscal policy is all about contributing to your private sector"
"Your industry shows promise... time for my firm to break the barrier of entry"
"Did you know, my private sector is now open for business"
"If you wanna stop the downturn, stimulate my package for growth, and then invest in my private sector"
"Because you are such a positive externality, we may need to implement immediate stimulus measures"
"Every time I see you, you remind me of high inflationary pressures... my interest rates keep increasing at every meeting"
"I can tell you're in a boom, my interest rates keep on rising"
"When it comes to you, my demand curve slopes upwards"
"Do you have a job? Because I thought we could enjoy some frictional unemployment together"
"Are you a Keynesian? Cause you sure make my monetary policy inflate"
"You've got the loveliest supply curves I've ever seen"
"If you want to invite your friend, perhaps we could explore multilateralism"
"Just to let you know, I'm about to nationalize you, so your assets won't be private for much longer"
"You must be operating at full allocative efficiency, because you know just where to put your goods and services"
"There are no diminishing returns with you"
"I love you, ceteris paribus"
"Don't worry baby, I'm implementing entry barriers to prevent infant industries entering the market"
Religion
"Now I know why Soloman had 700 wives, because he never met you"
"You float my ark"
"My spiritual gift is my good looks... it lifts peoples spirits"
"I used to believe in natural theology, but since I met you, I've converted to divine revelation"
"How many times do I have to walk around you to make you fall for me?"
"Unfortunately, I cant perform miracles and I've only got enough bread and fish for two people"
"I'm a Proverbs 32 kind of guy, and you're a Proverbs 31 kind of woman..."
"I would leave 99 sheep to come and find you... and then I would carry you home joyfully on my shoulder"
"You make the Queen of Sheba look like a hobo"
"Do you need prayer? Cause I'm certainly willing to lay my hands on you"
"Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?"
"Is it a sin that you stole my heart?"
"Do you think 'ask, and it shall be given to you' is to be taken literally?"
"I practice the mission of "love one another" to the fullest extent"
"How do feel about the passage that says, 'it is more blessed to give than to receive'?"
"I didn't know angels flew this low"
"If Eve was tempted by an apple, then you must be my fruit"
"The Word says 'Give drink to those who are thirsty, and feed the hungry'... how about dinner tonight?"
so manyyy. but they were worth the time finding ahaha.
.. these are hlrz but i hope you never use any of these to pick up girls when you're older and can go clubbing! :3
ReplyDeletefloooool seany <3
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