why am i so forgettable? ;__;

.....

GOOD LUCK FOR EXAMS EVERYONE!

get your red bull on 'cause i'm ready

you briefly glance at a group of girls; nod at the first's nice ass, wipe the drool off your mouth and then surreptitiously whisper "drop it like it's hot" upon seeing the second's pretty face, give an approving look to the all round hot one and then, an another approving look at the fourth, and at the fifth, think "what the shit is that one doing there?"

you're all familiar to this scenario, amirite?

the things i would do in this scenario:

1. try my best to see the hot-to-trot features of the fourth one. a good personality perhaps? nice smile? maybe sxc hair that you would have to look twice at to fully appreciate.

2. stop looking. it's damn depressing.

3. sympathise?

what would you do?

this issue probably just bothers me because i know the feeling myself: the niggling feeling of "i'm sorry for being so disgusting and ruining it" that lingers in the mind. but it kind of helps to know that sometimes those chix are brimming with self confidence, so it's therefore okay.

soz for ranting (but i guess this is what the blog is for, rite?)

thank you for an amazing night last night funbunnaz! best night i've had in a while.

wooooooh getting ready for hxc study for the weekend!

<3

anonymous shout outs:

- gtfo. you duh invade my personal space.

- thank you so much. i don't even know you but thank you. you unknowingly saved me from so much shiet. :3

retreat retreat retreattt.

three days, no school.
(not sure if that's good or bad though)

and i'm cutting down loads on msn (hurts so much though), but means i get more study done -sigh-

ah well.. RETREAT (...the next three days are going to be retribution for year 11 ahah)

bow chicka wow wow

the week has felt like it's just dragged on and on because everything is piling up and stressing me out already *___* but hopefully things will get better since the recent days have seriously just been a string of fml moments like my hellz indie watch breaking, precious ot lee maths book damaged due to a water bottle leak, having another random ass hobo yelling YEAAAAAAH GURL COME OVER HERE AND TALK TO MEEEEEEEEE at the bus station, and being denied a library card for the 895947557757th time. anyway after that rant, shout outz here we go: 

• i know we're drifting but i love you so muuuch. i'm okay with you just filling me in on everything time to time - as long as you don't forget about me completely (i'm putting you first so you don't get paranoid ilybbz)
• just gtfo seriously
• i la la laaaava you. you've really stuck by me even when i get all FRIENDSHIP OVER WHY ARE YOU EVEN TALKING TO ME?! ♥ you always stay even when i try to push you away in my moments of rage and i don't take anything for granted ! i don't have to explain all my dramaz to you because you immediately make me feel happier and better about everything. ILYITF
• a different gurl every day, dayum playa!

we wanna go rocka rocka rocka

I wake up every evening with a big smile on my face
And it never feels out of place
And you're still probably working at a nine to five pace
I wonder how bad that tastes
Gives You Hell - The All American Rejects

Two days into term. and really i do already feel like giving up -sigh-
woo! retreat though. but at its passing, you'll realize that it was a bad idea. especially at this time of the year (fuuu-)

MY PS2 IS FIXEDDDD. -strokes affectionately- forgotten how long it's  been since i last used it ahaha.

Failing a test hits really hard -emphasis on really-
and a chem score of 48 isn't really helping my distasteful (acids are sour, geddit?) view towards chemistry.
on the upside, english and physics went pretty reasonably well ahah.

my goal for this term: to remain sane. (well, not become any more worse)
yes it's true, we need to knuckle down and study for mid year exams.
but hey,
better not to burn out before-hand.
-reads physics: magnetism- -dizzy-

god, really now? of all times. just try to act a bit more mature at least.
(not that i can say much, i guess.)

retreat in under a week! (fish should be with us -sigh-)

bye
(slowly learning to sleep early. and not use msn)

interactive history study

Nov 1969 - 26 May 1972: SALT I

26 May 1972: ABM treaty signed (by Brezhnev and Nixon)

21 Dec 1972: Basic treaty between FDR and DDR signed

30 Jul 1975 - 1 1975: Helsinki Summit

Nov 1972 - Jun 1979: SALT II

18 Jun 1979: SALT II treaty signed

~~~~~ <=8

my turf

this week has been p. mindblowing! for year 12 it's kind of weird that there's a perennial sense of change. i thought it would just be study, study, study but no: it's drama, segregation and discovering who you and your friends truly are.

UMAT, exams and WACE exams are steadily approaching and everything is as freaking intense as the heat used in the haber process for manufacturing ammonia (which isn't very hot by commercial sense but if you stepped into a 300 degrees celsius combustion chamber you'd probably die - therefore intense); but there seem to be so many other things that matter more.

i guess all i wanted to say is just.. stop! just stop, relax, and take it easy. i can't really talk since i'm probably going to be freaking out over the assessments in the next two weeks but i know everything is going to be okay no matter what happens.

on a separate note...

SO EXCITED TO SEE THE BALLET <3 i am still of the opinion that the funbunners are the most amazing group of people ever and i have so much <3 for everything funbun related rite now (and probs 4evs aye)

important events coming up:

13 May: Dillon's birthday!

24 May: Wilson's birthday!

27 June: UMAT

30 May - 10 June: exams ;__;

gl for assessments everyone! don't stress out too much! and don't party too hard~

♥♥.Breakeven.♥♥ + Challenge 8 and 9 :) = this blogpost

What am I supposed to do when the best part of me is always you?

and

What am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're okay?

...I'm falling to pieces...

~Breakeven~

I fall silent as I watch him walk away with my torn heart in his hands. I feel the hot tears well up in my eyes and the deep throbbing pain of my now empty chest escalate to unbearable heights

...I will not complain...

...I will bear this agony alone...

...if he will come back to me...

EPSH!!! Bullshit. As if I'd fucking wait in pain for an asshole to return after breaking my heart! If anything, I'd probably be waiting in anticipation for him to come back so I can kick his sorry arse :) Seriously girls, wouldn't you do the same?

Aha, you must all think that the person behind this computer screen is I'm some fail cynical fat man who can't find love huh? To all those thinking this, first of all: would a pessimistic MAN seriously write in purple? Second of all, I'm a hopeless romantic♥... who just happens to be a pedantic feminist. I know, I know. A sappy feminist? Doesn't make sense right? How about we just simplify it and say, I'm all about girl power♥ GO POWERPUFFS (inside joke :] thumbs up if you get this HAHA)

Ok, back to the scenario: girl meets boy. Boy meets girl. Girl falls madly in love and the boy is her whole world... until he rips out her heart, throws it on the ground, stomps on it, spits on it, shits on it and pees on it until theres literally nothing left but a pile of greenbluebrownblack shit!!!

After this, the girl cries; goes through depression; gets help from her BFF's and eats a whole lotta ice cream until she's back on her feet again... only for a little while... because the next thing you know...the girl's after that badass dude again! SERIOUSLY!? WHAT IS WITH US GIRLS AND FALLING FOR BADASS GUYS? Is it because of their obvious hunky bufness? Or is it because we think that we can change them, and that they'll love us for it? Ugh. Stupidstupid to-die-for good looks... Anyways, the point is, I LOVE ROMANCE and sex and relationships and all the heebie jeebies involved with it but I get sooooo pissed off at the fact that when relationships end, us girls can't help but be emotional! It totally makes us vulnerable and weak (so not my thing) and an easy fuck target for guys coz for some reason, they just always know when a girl "needs someone to lean on".

Ugh. I'm ranting aren't I?

All I want to really say is: Girls, its time to be STRONG. We're not in the olden days anymore where we have to wait for our knight in shining armour♥ Now, don't get me wrong, I'd love my own knight in shining armour♥ but I'd like a geniuine one... not a fake one (like zac efron)... or a horny one (like russel brand)...

Oh by the way, if you're reading this, just note that what I've talked about refers to no-one in particular! OK!? So those of you getting ideas on how "this" might be "you"... well its not... I just heard that stupid song by The Script and it spurred something in me! HAHA.

But seriously... what is it about Badass guys that makes them so attractive? (Well, for me anyways 0_0... and also for that girl in grease, and elena gilbert, and hannah from pretty little liars...) What exactly do we find striking in guys? What make us want them... like a piece of cookies-and-ice cream on a hot summers day (yum)? Is it their amazingly gorgeous eyes? Their super hunky muscles? What?!

....and this leads us to Challenge 8 of Sean's 10 day blogging challenge...

3 Things Boys Do That I Love♥

1.) Hug me/ hold my hand when I'm scared

2.) They're nice to everyone and treat most with respect... but are still able to single us out and make us feel special :)

3.) They dont stomp, spit, shit and pee on my heart :) AHAHA jokesjokes... Hmm, well...I really like it when guys aren't afraid to show how they feel... And when they still have the guts to hug their mum/dad or say that they love their parents :) Is that weird? I reckon its a reflection of how everlasting their love is♥.

Challenge 9: 2 Smileys that describe my life right now

1. (=_=) ...this says... ayayayaya carumba! School ahead. Here we go again. Byebye sleep.

2. ^.^ ...this says... CHEERFULLY OPTIMISTIC and DETERMINED for this year!! AHA this is my underlying face on the days when I look like shit from the lack of sleep and you really can't tell what facial expression I even have on.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

~I can sense you laughing at the 2nd face ^.^~

~Don't know if you're reading this but I've missed drawing on you. Keep your sleeves rolled up!~

~Hey there Brad. Nice dot. AHA I'ma tell you tomorrow that you've got a spot on my blog... you'll be so excited you'll let me draw more dots on your face :)~

~CONGRATULATIONS MAMOOLA ON GETTING YOUR CPA.LAWTHINGYMAJIGY! Now you can be less stressed and we can stop arguing about who's gonna cook dinner~

1 confession

i don't know how to like who i am.

Day 10

One confession.

..ohshi-
must we really do this? -sigh-

it's -checks-, 9:33 am, and i'm waiting by myself alone at the library (as usual). sorry for not posting it yesterday ahah.
-thinks-

i'd much rather go through another operation, than go through that again. at least i know how much pain an operation is.

day 8 and day 9 of challenge: COMBINED

3 things boys do that i ruv

- laugh a lot at stupid things/do stupid but hlrz things

- talk to you first

- act gentlemanly (?) ie. opening doors etc

2 emoticons that represent my life as of now

1. -_____________________________________-

2. :)

two smileys that describe yo life right now.

1. :DDDDD 


2. :/

4 Things boy do that I hate... and a little RAMBLE

Scenario 1
Friend1: *Takes book and slaps Friend2 in the face*
Friend2: OUCH!! What was that for!?!?
Friend1: I facebooked you :)

Scenario 2

Two friends went out for a "girls night out" and got inevitably drunk. As they were walking home, they needed to pee and happened to pass by a graveyard. They both decide to do their business behind a headstone. The women had nothing to use as toilet paper and so the first woman takes off her panties, uses them and throws them away. The other woman was wearing expensive lingerie so instead she takes a wreath from a headstone and uses it.

The next morning, both their husbands are on the phone:
"These girls night outs have to stop! My wife came home with no panties last night!"
"Thats nothing... Mine came back with a sympathy card stuck between her butt that said: 'From all of us at the fire station, we'll never forget you!"

HAHA... just thought I'd put it out there that stupid life happenings like this define the STORYOFMYLIFE.

Now, I don't wake up every morning and decide to do something stupid that day... Embarassment just seem to follow me around EVERYWHERE. Kind of like justin beiber and his stalkerish fan girls :)

Tehehehe, don't get meh wrong, I don't hate it! Makes my life more interesting :)

What is annoying though is when you have visitors and a grape decides to squirt you in the face as you eat it (Not very sexy)... Just for that, I will crush all of you grapes... There will be more ribena in this world than sand :)

Speaking of hate; here are 4 Things boys do that I hate!!

1.) When there is sooo obviously something bothering them and you ask them "whats wrong?" but they'll act like nothing is wrong... BUT THEN...they'll suddenly go all agro at you... talk about bipolar -.- If there's something wrong and you want me to help, I'll help. If you'd rather be alone then FINE but don't take it out on randoms who happen to walk by because they want yogurt from the fridge :S

2.) Taking the last piece of pizza/last scoop of icecream without asking... WE COULD'VE gone halve-sies!!

3.) Talking super big about their dicks but when the time comes for them to perform, little johnny decides he doesn't wanna come out and play ~.~

4.) You have no right to order me around and make me make you a sandwich. Get off your fucking lazy ass and get your own fucking sandwich. ~FEMME FATALE FTW♥~ Women don't just belong in the fucking kitchen... I will make you a sandwich if you ask nicely AND if I like you. Got that honey?

:)

Peace out

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

~I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU TOLD LEII FIRST!!! :( Tehehe! Nonetheless, I'm so happy for you♥. She's a lucky girl! CONGRATS genie~

~Baby come back to meeeeeee... With my heart I'd set you freeeeee, we were meant to beeeee~

Fear?

...Fear...

An unseen and psychological phenomenon that comes in all forms, shapes and sizes... and yet, always seem to ignite only ONE specific reaction amongst all of us.
There are those of us who fear love- the complications that arise from it and the bad sex that may come when the person isn't quite the right one for you. There are those of us who fear dogs. There are those of us who fear "good looking" people, simply because they're intimidating. There are those of us who fear heights. There are those of us who fear germs and there are plenty of us of fear death.

Some fears are acknowledged as rational

...but mine?...

...most see it as irrational...

No matter how much I tell myself that there is no such thing and that it's all in my hyperactive mind, I can't seem to get over my silly irrational fears.

Stupid clowns and their twisted faces.

Stupid darkness and its indefinite borders.

Stupid chainsaw man! In all seriousnes, MUST you kill everyone with a chainsaw?

Stupid nightmares... and the subsequent feeling of paralysation where I feel like I can't wake up.

I was told that I recieved a call last night... and that I answered the call... if so, why can't I remember it? What grips me the most is that all I remember from last night is that dreadful feeling-the one I really hate-the feeling of helplessness... which ironically dissapeared as quickly as the sun shone through my windows and onto my face. I hate it. Not only does it give me the heebie jeebies; it also makes me feel like something is coming. Something not quite right.

2012, please dont come. 2011 is my year!

Hmmm, how is it that I can jump of a cliff face; abseil down gorges and go to the city in my pyjamas without feeling scared... but I can't go through one night, without fear?

Urgh.

Day Nine

Two smileys that describe your life right now

1. 8D (happy, sarcastic, overjoyed)
2. .__. (fml, year 12. fml, assignments. oh god. etc)

i'm not going to like tomorrows..ack.

A confessed CHEATER.

Yes... I admit to my dishonesty :(
Chain me up and whip me bad if you please... *winkwink*
This dilemma of mine is quite trivial... some of you may even laugh but I feel so BAD!?!

Why?

Because everyone is soooo ahead of the 10 day blogging challenge and I'm still turtle-ing my way through the earlier challenges!
Sooooooooooo, to fix this overrated predicament, I have come up with a plan! A GENIUS plan that even einstein himself will be jealous of :)

I'm going to combine 3 challenges in one blog.

I'm a confessed cheater. I'm sorry. Forgive me?

.Lets start.

Seven things that cross my mind a LOT :)

1. That kid will grow up looking hella hot!!! rit reow!!

2. Should I smile to him/her? Is he/she even smiling at me? Oh just grin and bear it.... grin and bear... 0_0

3. Hey look! Someones waving at me :) Oh, this random wants to give me a hug? .... wait, theres another person behind me isnt there -.-

4. Should I eat??... narrr... OH SUSHI♥

5. Oh look over there! Hott guys♥ They're staring (0_0)...Strut it girlfriend! strut your stuff!... OH CRAP I just stacked it didn't I?

6. He/she smells really nice

7. Random dance moves to random songs .... which I then unconsciously do in real life THUS making a fool of myself yet again

Six things I wish I'd never done :S

1. Bad choice in relationships and such

2. Loosing my phone... 6 times in one year...

3. Constantly stacking and face-planting the floor

4. Laughing at my cousin for growing his measly green tomato and trying to sell it to passing by cars for 50 cents ~he may be small but he punches like the HULK~

5. Running after that bus from school!!!... and tripping over my feet.... a decision which caused me 3 weeks of PAIN because my FACE got cut and my knees, legs and arms were scraped/ bruised 'cause I fell onto the highway and tried to roll myself to safety :( Chloweeee... if you're reading this, putting dettol on OPEN wounds that size HURT LIKE SHIT!!! oh and thank you to the bio-oil formula that got rid of my face scars :)

6. Leaving my keys at home... and having to get in the house CIA style on a 42 degree day... thank you Jace for coming and saving me on that hot-hellish day♥

Five people that mean a LOT

1. Ame - my partner in nighttimeadventures and crime :)♥.

2. Chloweeee -my dearest BELOVED. AHA :)♥.

3. Leii -bestfriendinthewholewideworld... knows too much and is capable of destroying memyselfandI... but he won't because he totes loves my awesomeness which exceeds his without a doubt ;)♥.

4. Jace - the girl who knows me better... than me :)♥.

5. Most important of all: Mummy♥. aka-Mamoola

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

~YOU'RE BAACCCKKKKK!?! Can't wait to hear all the stories and misshaps :)~

~Are you happy now? Sheesh.~

4 things (some of) the male gender does that i abhor

1. act really condescending

2. think they are hot/cool stuff when they are not

3. take silly pictures of themselves in front of their bathroom mirror with gatsbied hair and mobile phone (soz :3)

(but it's funny)

4. think about tits and ass 100% of the time

Day Eight

Three things that girls/boys do that you love

aww come on, when can the questions be easier..

1. Smile and laugh lots at all times
2. Act genuinely kind and caring
3. Be friendly and willing to talk/show interest

(my posts are becomi- no, nevermind)

four things that (some) boiz do that i hate.

when they:
1. act differently around their friends
2. act extremely conceited & arrogant because they mistakenly think that they're da bomb diggity
3. walk through doors first and don't hold the door open .__.
4. have a rat's tail

Day Seven

Four things that girls do that you hate

uhh...

1. when they say they're not pretty, when really they are (nawww fml. i sound so soppy -sigh-... learn from this guy... aaron: IM A FAIRY PRINCESS.. or maybe he's just messed up)
2. travel in packs, especially when organising events. (oragniser's worst nightmare)
3. act fake.
4. download shoujo anime, and not better stuff LOL.