guten tag

你问我爱你有多深
我爱你有几分
我的情不移
我的爱不变
月亮代表我的心~
(you ask how deep my love is for you,
how much I love you,
but my feelings won't waver,
my love won't change,
the moon represents my heart)

konnichiwa guys ~ I am procrastinating like crazy right now. I've got 3 assessments on friday and one on thursday that is probably worth a shitty crazy amount. I should probably stop caring because the same people always get the best marks and it is just generally unfair. -___- but the sad thing is, I don't think I would be able to have a life outside of education :L school has backed me into a tiny corner and it won't let me out. I wish school wasn't such a stupid rollercoaster with people who seem bent on throwing you out of the rollercoaster and people who have such a strong centre of gravity that everything in the rollercoaster is attracted to them and you're alone on the side and you don't know what to do. I don't like being lonely.

I'm listening to 2NE1's new song "It Hurts" and I like it because I like music with a piano and a idk.. constant running beat? Also one of the chicks in the video has really awesome blue hair! I would want blue hair like that, but blue eyes vs. black eyebrows......... Anyway, I've been tired and sad for two weeks due to sleep deprivation due to bad dreams. I don't even know what I do at night anymore. It's really strange. Maybe I have an alter ego that acts while I sleep like the guy in Fight Club.

I guess... I guess... other than wanting to procrastinate I wanted to write this blog for the following reason - to remind myself, along with other people that one hug can make a difference. Maybe it doesn't seem like it when you gingerly wrap your arms around someone, but really, it does. It can make the difference between a happy person and a sad person or loving and hating; the difference between "nobody would care if I jumped off this bridge onto the highway" and "wow, life is okay after all!". It can mean so, so much to some people.

So next time you drop by McDonalds or KFC and see a lady crying, give her a hug. And next time you see a person who hates your chinky guts, hug them good. And next time you see that one person you really, really want to hug, just do it!

ok, ciao for now.

Likes of the week: Japanese children, friendly bus drivers, kittens, people who sleep on public transport, blue hair, no hair, headphones (still), Jack Johnson, Ikea

Dislikes of the week: SNSD's new song, furballs, people who pretend, people who think that the whole world revolves around them, males who steal my time with my friends...

connoisseur ice cream.

If we can’t be beside each other, I will just leave
Willing to do anything, now I will get going…

Heartache - Outsider ft. MC Sniper

It feels like such a long time since i've had the chance to update my blog haha. (well, two days?)

yes i missed you. (kinda.)

still, it's been pretty, umm interesting intense since then? (yeah im not really sure myself.)

saturday was spent at the state library. i like love our table. allows us to see when randoms walk up the stairs. perfect angle for graham and justin to stare at asian girls without drawing too much attention. it's also near to the chairs where the hobos/asians sleep. so it does become pretty funny, when all is quiet and you suddenly hear a snore.

note to self: drag an extra desk over next time.

we're rapidly running out of desk space, and when each person has 3-4 subjects they're trying to studying for, space becomes a luxury.

no Wesley guys this weekend haha. (justin probably scared them off... or was it aileen? hmmm.)

got lots of work done (surprisingly)

although i had a pretty bad headache. (why is the world so cruel to target asians with hayfever. urgh)

sunday, didnt wake up early for badminton. wayyyyyy too lazy, still r+r'ing after the tournament (even though i did barely anything), 13 horus hours of sleep felt so goodd. didnt wake up till 1.

then i realised i was screwed. (oh so very much)

spent pretty much the entire day on physics/physics/physics/physics/econs/chem/eng. (yep 4 x physics.)

what i'd give to control time (now im going to go off on a tangent).

1. during an exam or something, you could pause, go to the teachers laptop/desk. collect the test papers etc etc. then copy out the answers. (maybe that's how bryan does so well, hmmmmm)
2. if bored during class, pause time, then walk around, maybe take a walk to winthrop village and get some food. ("borrow" some food yeah? if time's paused, security cameras in theory are paused to..jks, im not that stingy)
3. fast forward through boring classes. (i.e english, religion and economics. especially english)
4. slow down moments you wish would last forever
5. travel back into time, and get a pet dinosaur can just imagine flying on a pterodactyl (except as ocallaghan argues, the atoms/molecules in the dinosaur are now in us, so by taking the dinosaur forward in time, you're destroying the possibility of using those molecules/atoms. yeah, i actually pay attention in physics)
6. fast-forward into time. (i wouldnt mind owning a Gundam -wide smile-, even a Knightmare Frame would be gooooddd)
7. most importantly, pausing time, so you can sleep for hours on end, and spend the rest of the "normal" time doing something productive. (i.e eating.)

Still, live would be so much more fun if i could control time (just a thought, if anyone has a way of controlling time, contact me immediately. thankyouu)

today we changed lockers, mine is.. -looks at arm- (oh it's still written on there), locker 782, is it M782? i dunno. all i know is that it's a bottom locker, and it's in a dark corner (urgh.) i found out today (twice), how awkward it is, when you go to your locker during class, as about half of the class to the right of your locker, with a wide open door, can see what you're doing. still, i cant complain. it's not as bad as the poor souls whose lockers are near the toilet windows (aha suckers.)

physics test i found "ok". my fears were brought up in a conversation later:

josh: how'd you find the test?
sean: i found it pretty ok, everyone else said it was hard.

josh: yeah, was pretty hard for me, you probably screwed up every single question then.

sean: yeah, dont remind me.

although some may argue, i "pwned" the test. i really dont think so. (wish i was as optimistic as you guys.)

lunch was rushed towards leavers jacket planning. not sure how the guy mixed me and josh up

i mean, come on. one of us is asian, skinny, wears glasses, a jumper and has black hair.

the other is white, tank, no glasses, no jumper and striking orange hair.

-shakes head-, probably needs to get his glasses checked again.

end of the day was spend coaching little kids for public speaking. omg, they're so loud. even though there were -counts- six of them? they made more noise than a year-11-economics-class-during-teachers-life-stories.

-sigh-

tomorrow, special minister of the eucharist training till 4:20, then library with chem teacher till 5 for test prep.

-profanity- far out, Cadre training goes from lunch till 8:30 pm on wednesday, and then the entire day on thursday.

man im so screwed for subjects.

then exams. damn, they're getting close.

still, there's light at the end of the tunnel (well there better be, or im calling in demolition teams.)

thoughts: leavers jackets arghh.

-10 < -2 < 10

mass guilt!

"little darling, it's been a long, cold, lonely winter
little darling, it feels like years since you've been here
here comes the sun *doo doo doo doo*
here comes the sun - and I say it's alright!"
(here comes the sun - the beatles)

so uh.. today has been a very guilty day for me - which Sean and Justin have no doubt observed throughout the day as we traipsed around northbridge/stayed in the library studying like good little Asian nerds.. I'm hoping that writing a bad blog post about it will somehow make me feel calmer. But anywho today made me feel megaguilt for two reasons:

1. Random Asian lady I've only met once pays for our lunch: ok - so justin, Sean and I were sitting down in a nice little restaurant enjoying a pleasant, Malaysian flavoured lunch. Then my mother and her friend walk into the same restaurant (COINCIDENCE?! I think not -___-) and order their own lunch... AND THEN SUDDENLY THE RANDOM ASIAN LADY PAYS FOR OUR LUNCH. I didn't exactly know what to do except flounder around helplessly - emitting small and pitiful "thank you" noises and pulling a painful smile because I felt so bad.......... I mean it was really very kind of her but still - that moment evoked guilt as I'd never felt it before.

2. I see someone I think I know (but it might not be them due to my impaired eyesight - though there's a very small chance of that) and don't know whether to wave or not so I just don't wave and we stare at each other for a second and then I look down: now this triggered immense guilt in my system. I probably should have just waved anyway but how guilty will I feel when I go back to school on Monday and I see that person and I... ;____; Aiyah!!!

I guess I still have a day to get over this...

Other than that it has been a rather pleasant and good day - and I might procure a job soon. :3 On another note: WHERE ARE ALL THE RESOURCES ABOUT ANDREW MALLARD ON THE INTERNET. stupid P&L. Thank God I'm quitting that next year.

ja mata, blog ~

camppp.

I throw my test up in the air sometime,
singing ayooo i got a zerooo!

(well, pretty close to it)

Yeah, it's a bit late of an update, but i dont really want to go to sleep.

Prefect camp on thursday and friday was lots of good fun.

well, where to start? (yeah i know, the beginning duhh)

thursday, morning, SORRY CHRIS. ahaha, he'll understand when he reads it.

arriving at camp at rossmoyne, we took our dorms, guys got the usual individual ones with the kitchen, girls got the shared ones (kinda ironic yeah?) 

lots of group activities. scanlon told us not to "nest together", well, we tried, and failed pretty miserably at inter-mingling.

being given a booklet with 130+ pages, isnt really that amazing. especially considering when you have two days to "finish" the book.

food at camp was pretty ok, standard stuff (i.e sandwiches. the entire time. THERE WAS NO RICE) well, some quotes i remember are:

-Josh growling at Chris to shut up-

Chris: being a bit aggressive there, are we Josh?

Josh: not aggressive, assertive.

Scanlon: ...take this situation, "you've just lost a match you believe you deserve to win", what do you do, as a leader? do you go up to him?

Josh: yeah, and ask him how much he gets paid.

-waiting for lunch-

me: yeah, our designs for the house bananas (banners)...

-Josh arguing, Kiara quietens down group-

Chris: behind every great man, is an even greater woman

probably are more, but i just cant remember.

oh man, i just lost it. when we found out ball was on 26th. and it's going to be held at the Esplanade, Fremantle (oh man, i can hear the complaints already. thank god im not in the ball committee)
still, 48 hours mang. 48 hours of balls/afters. goodbye sleep.

yeah, mis-understandings can cost you a lot of credit.(such as pointlessly waking Chris up at 12:30 am.)

i lost count at the number of "huge" jokes we made to Josh. but i'd say at least 100+

we kinda "sorted out" our new house system for next year, but i really dont want to recount the details. it's too much trouble/work/effort/thinking/brainpower...

LEAVERS JACKETS. we've got a few designs (as shown below) any suggestions/ideas/critiques? (credit to headboy for working with the template on photoshop):

yeah, shame there's no hoods though.
THERE'S NO WINGS. (im pretty happy about that)
the only colours we could work with, were burgundy, white and navy blue. great colour scheme we've got going there. urgh.
still feedback would be much appreciated!

leavers jacket names, think mine'll be "seany ^^y" if a teacher/random asks, the second half is a asian emoticon. the what it actually is, is a pair of horns.
therefore, replace the "^^" with "horn" and you gettt... (yeah this was peer pressure, i was perfectly content with "seanyy.")

is there much more to add?

oh, Nick, Marco, Craggs and I woke Chris up today.

it involved a cup of water, and Chris' ear. (i'll put the photo up later. too lazy to find phone cable)

10 DAMN ASSESMENTS, I JUST WANT TO BURN MY STUDY DESK AND EVERYTHING ON IT.

-rage- why did OC have to leave all the physics assignments until this last minute. urgh.

already hate optics enough.

we also got our exam timetables, which for me is:

1. 2B Chemistry : Friday           19/11/10     12:45pm-3:55pm
2. 2B Religion : Monday            22/11/10    8:30am-11:10am (wtf, need-to-wake-up-early-for-religion?!?)
3. 2B Economics: Monday        22/11/10    12:45pm - 3:55pm
4. 2B English : Tuesday             23/11/10    12:45pm-3:55pm
5. 2B Physics: Wednesday        24/11/10    8:30am - 11:40am

should we plan something for post-exams again? (hmm, will i be bothered..)
we have our dinner dance on friday of week 7. joy.

yawning now, better go sleep.
library tomorrow, hardcore studying mang.

thoughts: physics, thou art my bane.
-10 < 2 < 10

i throw my sandwich in the air sometimes; singing "ayooooo, where's the mayo?!"

"look at all those fancy clothes;
lord knows that these could keep us warm just like those.
what about your soul? is it cold?
is it straight from the mould and ready to be sold?"
(Gone - Jack Johnson: my favourite Jack Johnson song)

Ni hao everybody! Is it just me or has it been an extremely stressful week? Assessments and drama galore. I did a few horrible things this week: write an extremely nonsensical history essay, let some people down, not speak to people because due to the fact that I've suffered sleep paralysis (that's what it's called rite)/deprivation as I had a really terrible dream and couldn't find the courage to sleep/return to that dream. Also 2011 ball drama -___- But enough of the negativity! There's always tomorrow - I guess.

Discoveries of the week: the greatness of headphones, the difficulty in literature, CHOCOLATE SOY MILK, general awesomeness of friends.

Anyway, I know I'm not so adept at affection or big shows of love; which severely inhibits my social abilities.. And this in addition to the fact that things haven't been so dandy lately has probably made people think that I didn't like them :L. So I just wanted to put it out there that I love my friends and I will do this via an exploration into the types of great friends I have. Here goes:

The friend with the perpetual good (not to mention pretty) head on their shoulders:
hehe. If you're reading this I'm pretty sure you know who you are. Anyway these types of friends are always level-headed regardless of whether things are stressful or ridiculously great - and always good for helping you put things into perspective. When things are blown way out of proportion you know you can count on these types of people to deflate things again.

The silver friends: well, not so much silver. But silver in the sense that they actually secretly care about you and it has only come to light in the worst situation - sort of like a silver lining on a cloud. And the funny thing is, you are eternally grateful for your shitty quandary because you've discovered these wonderful people and the value of your friendships with them.

The friends who trigger crazy maternal/paternal instincts in you: They teach you how to care like a saint, and convince you to want to give hugs all the time because you want to protect them and their innocence from everything. ever. These people encourage you to be a better person p. much all the time.

The ^__^ friends: The ones who seem to make you laugh all the time about the silliest things and just generally lift your spirits when you are near them. If you're sad you don't even need to tell them because they will just make you start laughing ~

The friends who would probably accept you if you had an octopus on your shoulders instead of a head: I think I've been accidentally blessed with too many of these people. Best people to go to when you are in a shit. They make you realize that you're human - not a stupid gargantuan octopus.

The friends who have been there for a looooong time: stability is the best - and so are these people.

The friends you never thought you'd meet but are super cool: enough said.

The fringe friends: The friends outside your normal sphere of relationships who make you see other groups - and not to mention the world - a little bit differently and provide a refreshing breath of air when things get tough.

Pets: non-discriminatory even if you been a total ho to everyone else. Give free licks and lovin' whenever you need it.

I think all of my friends fit into one or more of each of these categories. And I suppose I just wanted to thank everyone for the super contributions they've made to my life thus far. I can only hope that I have made as many good contributions to other people's lives as they have done to mine. so... thanks guys! for not giving up on me - even if I am stupid and have a chronic affection/inferiority complex. you're the best - and even if you change I'll always be waiting. (sorta like Penelope when she waited for good ol' Odysseus)

<3

yam sennnnnng.

I got this icebox where my heart used to be.

Ice Box - Omarion

anywayyy..

._.

dont you hate it when you're on the way to school and you see someone you know,
but you just reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalllyyyyyyyyyyyyyy cant be bothered talking to them?

yeaaaaaaaaaaah bro.

or when you walk down the corridor and you see someone you've been chatting to for like, 2 hours the night before and you pretend you dont see each other?

yeaaaaaaaaaahh bro.

or when you get to school and you just cant be bothered smiling and laughing like on normal days?

yeaaaaaaaaaaaaah brooo

or when you see this incredibly good lookin' thannnggggg on the bus but all you can do is look cos like, you'd be a total creeper if you went up and said hi?

yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. bro.


well.

you suckkkkk. T^T ( as do iiiiiiiiiiiii :3)


COS YOU SHOULD TOTALLY GO UP AND SAY HI.

AND GO TO SCHOOL SMILING EVERYDAY COS YOUR EMOTIONS AFFECT OTHER PEOPLE, AND IF YOU MAKE OTHER PEOPLE SAD, YOU"RE GAYYYYYYYYYYY.

AND YOU SHOULD TOTALLY STRIKE UP A CONVOOOOOOO


...

COS WE"VE GOT 1 MORE YEAR LEFT OF HIGH SCHOOOL.


WHA-BAM. BOO YEAH.


WE GOTTAAAA MAKKKEEE THEEEE MOSSTTT OUTTT OFFF ITTT ANDDD MAKKEE LIKE, A BILLION GREAT MEMORIES TOGETHER.

(Y) ^____^ < thats asian priiiiiiide rite dere.

( you have to say "kimchiiiii!" when you make the peace sign, btw. basic asian rules.)

bus!?

就算做朋友也没关系
为你改变了自己都不认识自己
不是我跑去了整形
只是我拿出真心
(it don't matter if we're friends;
i've changed for you so much i can't recognize myself,
it's not that I've had plastic surgery,
just that I showed my true heart)
Hao Jiu Bu Jian - Jay Chou

greetings good people of earth! today was another rainy day which was saddening but I hope the sky doesn't decide to shit because there's cycring to do tomorrow! yaaaaaaaay. I am take a break from history because the Ainu peoples' history is tres disorienting and makes me look at my bed with an expression of lust that could only match Graham's when looking at a poster of SNSD.

anywho ~ today I caught the bus and on Wednesdays there is a barrage of private schoolers who board the bus and talk loudly etc. Sometimes I really enjoy catching the bus because it's a great opportunity to chill and eavesdrop into these peoples' conversations. It's like hearing non-Asian Wilsons talking to other non-Asian Wilsons about their wealth *___*.

However what I've noticed with people on my bus (private schoolers in particular) is that they'll sit next to me and then when there is a vacant spot they will relocate there ;__; I've been trying to work this out for ages. But nevertheless I have figured out that the following things may be crossing their mind when they sit next to me and then decide to relocate.

1. "This chick smells bad": but I swear the guy who sat in the seat you were sitting in smells much worse than me... (chinky smell > shit smell, deshou?) but regardless, if I do smell bad someone please tell me -_____-
2. "fark more Asians clogging the public transport system - sitting next to one disgusts me": can't exactly argue with this one... :L
3. "pssh public schoolers - sitting next to one disgusts me": I would like to think that private schoolers aren't *this* snobby.
4. "ooh, if I sit here there's a better view of that guy/girl's ass": can't disagree with this one either.

... maybe next time I should strike up a conversation with the person sitting next to me. but they might get weirded out?!!?

taking public transport features a lot of weird etiquette I will never understand - but it's better for the environment and I can keep dumbfounding bus drivers' minds when I say "thank you" in unaccented Australian English as I disembark every day ~